WE ONLY NEED TO ALLOW AND BELIEVE FOR THE DIVINE TO WORK IN OUR LIVES

Have you ever found yourself working, striving, being so busy every day you have no time to enjoy what you're doing anymore? Maybe you're working so hard there is no rest unless you schedule a vacation, but even that doesn't quite satisfy you. Did you ever wonder, "Why am I doing all this...?"

Yeah, me too.

I used to control everything in my life. If anything appeared to be going wrong, I'd jump in and make sure it turned around...quick. Even if that meant judging, controlling, yelling, scaring, or verbally manipulating others. I needed life to go the "right way", which of course really meant, my way. Until one day I became ill, for the second time. I started to look for God. I waited until I was afraid of dying, I recommend awaking before you HAVE to. But anyway, just about that time, God had enough of my workaholic lifestyle, and my never-ending desire to for perfection and self-preservation. I didn't have much time for fun, or useless emotions, I always had work to do, things to accomplish, plans to make, and places to go. Rest was lazy to me and a nap - NEVER. Well, God said enough! He had other plans for me, and he wasn't letting up on me until I listened. What I've learned since that time, nine years ago, is He had been working in my life since I was an infant, but I never realized it until I started to seek His guidance and I was nearly desperate to really listen. I look back now and realize all the things God moved, removed, adjusted or defeated on my behalf. Honestly, countless things!

I am glad I finally listened because he has taken me on quite a journey and now my life is much different than it used to be. I have time for people, I am in touch with my emotions, I cry - when that was NEVER an option before God came into my life like a wrecking ball. I am grateful I picked up my cross and opened up to God's guidance; I listened to the hard things He was teaching me about myself, others and life in general. In essence I had to relearn just about everything I thought I knew. Although there are some little people I miss terribly, I equally grateful and happy to be on this journey with the divine. I truly glad He is giving me the opportunity. 

There is an old Hebrew word that I have been living by since God enlightened my heart about ten years ago and that is, Hineni (hee-nay-nee). It means, "Here I am."

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 And I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, ‘Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?’ Then I said, ‘Here am I (hineni)! Send me.’ Isaiah 6:8 

Are you ready to pick up your cross, hear the hard stuff, make changes and relearn everything you thought you knew? I think He may be calling you right now! Will you answer?

Compassion  ☆  Faith  ☆  Restoration

I SURE DID, AND IT'S A DARN GOOD THING TOO.

How can God be good if he messes up your life?

Facts are he doesn't mess up your life; He teaches you who you are in His kingdom. He shows you how to change and become who you were always intended to be. That can be chaotic, but it is necessary.

So, what did I really learn? Here is my list that has been a lifetime in the making:

God is tough, and because I was tough, I needed Him to be tough too.

He came into my life as massive chaos, death, loss, changes, switch-ups, failures, and fake people.

But I learned:

God is real

To love myself more

Not fold to fear

Let others be themselves, then choose if that works in my life

Resting is not lazy, it's important

If chaos isn't my doing, then it's not mine to control

Understanding my worth is priceless

It doesn't matter what people think or say about you - people don't control your life unless you give them permission

Some failures are for your benefit

Never give up

Never make excuses or feel like a victim - no matter what others try to do in your life

When you're scared - keep going

When you're mad - keep going

When you're frustrated - keep going

Nothing outside of me needs to be controlled by me

My power comes from controlling myself

Silence is more powerful than yelling

Walk away from everything that is trying to keep you from honoring God's calling

Apologies aren't a sign of weakness

Not all loss should be mourned - some should be celebrated

See people for who they are - not who you are projecting them to be

Hope & pray but then let go and let God

Women should be in every room where men make decisions

I am not alone

God chose women too

Being alone is beneficial - it's not punishment

God will remove EVERYTHING you covet most - I coveted autonomy

Loyalty only matters when there is respect too

Allow people to show up how they choose

Say yes as much as possible to new experiences

Keep time open in your calendar for possible last-minute invites

Time moves quicker than we think - make the most of what's given to you

Trust God, He has a plan, learn to listen

Belief in self isn't disrespectful and doesn't require corroboration from anyone else

Man's systems are a choice not a requirement

God accepted me JUST AS I WAS

Compassion  ☆  Faith  ☆  Restoration